So, I came across this quote this morning and, I have to admit, it made me tear up a bit.  

"When the message we receive from another person is, 

'You're safe with me', we relax."

Bessel Van Der Kolk 

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma

 

For me, this is what trauma-informed care is at its essence.  Traumatic events or recurring traumatic experiences truly make us feel that we are in danger (and many times, we ARE in physical or emotional danger!!) So, to have someone make you feel safe, well, that is the best first steps in building resilience and beginnings of the healing process.

 

 How do you make someone feel safe? One of the easiest ways is to listen to them.  I don't mean "hear the words coming out of their mouths".  I mean listen with your heart.  What is the message that their heart wants your heart to hear?  It may sound difficult, but it really isn't.  For me, when I am listening with my heart, I look at the person as if they are the most important person to me.  I see the person in front of me as deserving of my respect, even when they don't act like they do(maybe because they do not internally believe that they are worthy of true respect). It is my obligation and honestly, my honor to help them in whatever way I can.  Maybe their overt actions are really coping mechanisms for something in their past.  It is not for me to judge their strategies but to assist them in their journey.

 

My challenge to you-- can you make someone feel safe today?